Zach Snyder the man behind, the worst, greatest (if your a frat boy that likes to yell), horriblest, stupidest or what ever you think of it-est, movie of all time, 300, just inked a deal with EA to develop three original titles. Zach Snyder is also behind the upcoming and much anticipated - in the sense of 'He better not f**k it up' mantra - Watchmen. EA sees Snyder as a creative force in film that has attracted the same demographic that the industry looks for. In the deal EA will own the intellectual properties but if they should attempt to make them into films then they will be produced by Snyder's Cruel & Unusual Films. This seems to be only a continuing pattern - Spielberg and John Woo both have had their names attached to games - as both industries look for outside creative sources. [gamesindustry.biz/Variety] 

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George Lucas and the boys at LucasArts finally get a chance to show off what a Jedi can do in the video game world. Star Wars The Force Unleashed helps fill in the gap between Revenge of The Sith and A New Hope. The story itself will be viewed as mostly fluff by the uninitiated, but a few core plot elements are suggested that will certainly appeal to hardcore fans. As one, I've been eagerly awaiting the release of this game and I'm not disappointed. Sure, I'm a bit biased, but this is Star Wars and it’s hard to not be a little twisted by the franchise's sith like influence. Full Review...

Harmonix’s Rock Band is back on the scene after less than a year after its initial debut. Rock Band 2 expands the track listing and fine tunes what was frustrating while keep that actual core game play almost identical to its previous incarnation. Full Review...

For those of you waiting for LucasArts to return to whatever heyday you think they might have had in your warped little mind, I'm hear to tell you that your going to have to keep on waiting. Sadly, Fracture will not transport you back into your soft, coddled cookies n cream youth; long before your uncle violated you. No, not Uncle Gary you sick bastards. I of course refer to the metaphorical raping of your minds by one Unlce George Lucas. I consented, so this isn't about me, it's about you. You should not buy Fracture. I know, it seems a bit harsh to be so hard on a game that we have only played the demo of, but we speak the truth...more so than any other fluff preview probably will.

Fracture plays like the abortion that fell out of Mass Effect's and Gears of War's collective naughty hole. The only reason Fracture exists is because of the terrain altering weaponry. I will be the first to say that the first time you shoot the ground and make a hill is pretty cool, but by the end of the demo I was already getting sleepy. The control is loose, the texture mapping is dull, the level design is overly linear and the characters are poorly designed war torn stereotypes. Fracture is all gimmick and no substance.

I would go as far to say that this demo isn't even worth downloading.

As I sit here at my horrid corporate job in Kendall Square attempting to look busy, I am secretly surfing Wookieepedia trying to find out if I should waste my time reading the Timothy Zahn trilogy. God forbid I waste my precious time on trashy expanded universe novels. I would much rather waste my time researching the validity of said novels and the true meaning of Star Wars cannon. I mean, god. Kill me. Holocron be damned.

Speaking of Star Wars and premature death, The Force Unleashed went on to sell 1.5 million copies in its first weak according to LucasArts. This makes it the fastest selling Star Wars game of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

What day is it?

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You, the few, the proud, the loyal 8bit marines may remember the realistic Mario that we (everyone) posted a few months ago. Now we have the newest entry in the "ruin my childhood and give me nightmares" category. I present to you: Real Kirby. And man oh man is he disgusting. This take on Kirby looks more like an amalgamated version of all the worlds of STDS than anything else. Can't we get some realistic Cammy's or Chun-Li's? Sheesh.

We're having an easy time at [8bit] being a fan of anyone who combines Mario, Nikes, and a big dino. Check out more at his site.

Ride along with Red Bull driver Mark Webber (no relation) as he does a virtual lap of the new Singapore F1 street course. These city circuits, that we see so often in driving simulators, don't actually translate so well to the real world. The logistics involved in setting one up are huge. If the embed doesn't work for you, AixSponza's website has the clip in glorious Quicktime. [NOTCOT]

Slate.com, Microsoft's outlet for educated wit before that smarmy Seinfeld funnyman came along, has turned its eye on your favorite simulation creator, Will Wright. They've come up with an indepth profile and examination of his newest God emulator, Spore. Don't expect and IGN review. This is serious stuff. [Slate Magazine]

I know Star Wars doesn't need anybody running to its assistance. The IP isn't exactly an under dog. But I must say, it does irritate me to see the unfairness (over-fairness) in which the Force Unleashed is getting reviewed. When a Star Wars game gets released it’s a gigantic target; it all at once recounts our youth in conjunction with perfect drunken arguments. People deconstruct any out put from the Lucas camp with a meticulous eye,  in order to protect the memories that they hold sacred. Sadly this self-saving eye does not get used when reviewing other IP's.

This fact probably makes Star Wars products the only items that are actually reviewed correctly, which is a scary thought. As we all know, no one on the interwebs roots for Lucas Arts like they root for Team Ninja. It’s frightening to see how much most reviewers overlooked in Ninja Gaiden II. Team Ninja did an absolute shit job making that game. The flaws were overlooked and a nice safe 80-85% score was given, securing reviewers interviews with Itagaki in the future. The Force Unleashed on the other hand suffers from similar...if not fewer game bugs and design flaws than said Ninja Gaiden, yet it's being pulled apart limb by limb. At least we know in the future that all Star Wars games will get very meticulous in depth reviews...now we just have to worry about every other game out there.

All reviewers have little wet dreams about working for the big bad game companies. This is one of the main reasons that video game reviews can’t be taken seriously, the other being that they are all man children sucking on the tit of a transvestite with a peter pan complex.

-fin

We may be a little late to the party sharing this wonderful campaign with you, but we don't give a shit. Gates and Seinfeld make the most powerful comic team in history, if measured by the size of their net worths. Perhaps the reason we like these ads most is because they don't seem to actually be selling us anything. They only serve as a reminder that Microsoft is always there, looming large in anything it wants to be involved in, now including comedy. We're in good hands and looking forward to much more.

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