GTA IV needs to stop getting me so excited. I mean, this is ridiculous. It's going to be a solid game, but it's not going to be a transcendent video experience that changes how games are made or anything like that. But tell that to the Timmy Mc Timmersons of the world. They just won't listen. Anyway, it was just announced that you will be able to download load music directly from Amazon in game. So now as you drive by the gritty streets of Liberty City shooting prostitutes in slow motion you can listen to the macabre music of your choosing. The downloads are DRM free, which is just the bees knees.

Click here to read all about it.

The Halo 3 Heroic Map Pack is now available, for free, on Xbox Live. Sweet, now all of you can kick my ass in a different setting. Hope they've changed those sky textures so I have something to look at.

EA recently put up a bid for 2K games, which is aggravating because they would own the entirety of the sport game market that they have already fucked up by buying out certain licenses. Now it seems they might have plans to make a console. Just what we need, every EA game would go exclusively to their console and we would all be forced to buy the piece of shit.

Let's get a few things straight on this one before I get into what I actually want to show you. None of us own or plan to own Macs. There is no heading above for Mac games, because generally they are non-existent. When they do exist, they're watered down versions of PC games. Further, none of us own motorcycles. I can't speak for the others but my mother made me promise her I'd never buy one. Something about safety. I can't remember exactly.

All that said, this Honda moto sim for Mac is pretty fucking cool. It takes advantage of and OS X software element that knows when the laptop is tipsy. Tilt to the left and you bank left, right and you bank right. Pretty simple. The only other game I've seen like this is a puzzle game meant for ThinkPads that employs similar software meant to protect the laptop's hard drive before a drop.

Anyway, check out the Honda game here. Just a video demo so far, but that'll be enough for most of us.

Similar to what we posted last week, the Music Tech Pro Performer V1.0 allows you to control the onboard sound of your Gameboy. Just plug the cart in and away you go. Pretty fucking cool. Apparently supplies are limited. Find video, audio, and complete features here. It'll run you about $65. Thanks to NOTCOT.ORG for the heads up.

Microsoft just implemented it's new Terms of Use. People found tampering with their Xbox Live Gamerscore will have their Gamerscore reset, be unable to regain those achievements and have their account labeled as a cheater. This way the community can virtually stone them.

Now that Ubisoft bought the rights to use Tom Clancy's name it seems that they are poised to make a MMO using one, or more, of the franchise's products. I'm not sure how this is going to work, or if it work at all. Something about 100,000 counter terrorists running around just doesn't add up. Someones getting fragged in the kill house. 

I don't know whats more amusing, that SKT finally realized that there is a market for video games in China or that Digital Chosunilbo might need to fire its Chinese to English translator. Click here for the article. On a side note I buy all of my people here. 

Why is it that every time I go to a Gamestop I have the most miserable experience of my life? Its due to the people who populate the damn place. Honestly, if you don't feel comfortable in low anxiety social situations then just stay home and stop making me feel like I need to delouse myself every time I go to the mall. [ more.. ]

For about $50 you'll be able to turn your Nintendo DS into a kick-ass synthesizer with some sweet officially endorsed software on its way from Japan. The product page refers to this as a Japan-only release, but that isn't the word on the street. Now you can use that commute time to actually create something instead of training your brain or pursuing that latest Final Fantasy (what are they up to now, the 28th Final Fantasy? Maybe it's time for a name change? ).

Get all the info you could want here, including a demo track. [AQ Interactive]

My Portuguese is a little rusty, but as far as I can tell a British ad agency, The Republik, put this campaign together for Atari. Besides tennis boy here, there are a few more if you follow this link. [brainstorm #9]

As an added bonus for shopping with 8bit, follow this link [worth 1000] for a completely faked photoshop old-timey Wii advert.

Really though, when is the last time your church did anything for you? Best Buy on the other hand provides amazing forms of escapism and makes me feel comfort and a sense of community that is unparallel. Where else can I find The Last Temptation of Christ, The Passion of the Christ, and Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter in the same store? Talk about diversity. Recently, divine light showered the store and the powers that be have decided to offer a 50 dollar gift card to early adopters of a medium called HD DVD. I am pretty sure they were like laser discs, only they sold worse. Anyway, if you are one of these so called “morons” that adopted a technology too early (again) and you now have sand in your vagina, you can return to Best Buy and get a gift card as long as you purchased your now useless player before February 23rd. Who knows, maybe you will give this newfangled Blu Ray a shot.

Head over to CNN for the full story.

Hey folks. I came across this gem a few days ago (as did the rest of the internet) but it took me this long to come up with that title up there. Genius takes time guys, genius takes time. Just look into his creepy little diddling eyes. To think we let him 1.4 Million homes this month alone.

Click here to give this photoshopper an undeserved feeling of self worth.

The Onion has once again put me in my place. I knew that I looked silly flailing my arms about trying to pick up those pigs up in Rayman Raving Rabids. I knew I looked slightly effeminate shooting a fireball at my buddy in Dragon Ball Z. And I know that Smash Brothers Brawl is gay gay gay. But I don't need to read about on the toilet at work! The Onion always surprises me how spot on they are with the times.

Click here with your dainty little wrist to read all about it.

1. Hannspree Ten Kate Honda SBK Superbike World Championship:
Ok, I know this is a PSP game and we don't even have a section for handhelds. In fact I will be completely honest in saying that I only looked at the name of the game and didn't do a second of research on it. I picked HTKHSSWC solely on its name and sheer stupidity of it. If an acronym ends up forming a complete sentence, it should burn in the same pyre that roasted Daikatana and Kriss Kross: Make My Video.

2. Belief & Betrayal
You play as a journalist, whose uncle conveniently dies, and then gets involved in a conspiracy surrounding the Catholic Church. Fucking-A, that sounds about as much fun as running Windows in Safe Mode. If you are honestly excited, for the release of this game, start collecting stamps because you are already dead to me.

3. Wild Earth: African Safari
Truly there is nothing like traveling across the world and taking pictures of wild animals, especially when you are doing it from your couch, you don't even have a camera and Louis Braille would give the graphics a low score.

4. Major League Eating: The Game
Are you fucking serious! No by all means make a game about stuffing your obese ass with virtual food, because the majority of gamers are unhealthy enough. In production next is Cowboy Killer: The Marlboro Game, in which you shove the Wii Remote down your pie hole and smoke it, co-op play encouraged.

5. Last of the Patriots 2
It's never a good sign when you see a sequel to a game that you never heard of in the first place. That's all I've got.